Q: Do you have lids/spoons/milk/sugar/internet?
A: No, we're total savages.
Q: Do you have more seats?
A: Does the floor count?
Q: Can I get a pizza to go?
A: Yeah, right around the corner.
Q: What was this place before?
A: A dimensional rift, to a place where people endlessly ask irrelevant questions.
Q: Can I get a caramel macchiato?
A: That doesn't exist… but yeah, sure.